Ep.7 Masculine Transformation & Understanding

In this 20-minute episode, I explore what masculinity actually means beneath the noise, the trends, and the performative bravado that dominate the conversation today. Masculinity, as I see it, is rooted in responsibility: the responsibility to lead oneself, to provide stability rather than chaos, and to protect what has been entrusted to you without resorting to control or emotional shutdown. I talk about becoming a provider not only in the financial sense, but in presence, consistency, and emotional steadiness, and about becoming a protector through discernment, boundaries, and strength of character rather than force. This is a conversation about self-mastery, not dominance, and about direction rather than ego.

I also address the balance between firm boundaries and genuine care in relationships, especially the importance of not tolerating disrespect while still treating women with kindness, patience, and love. Strength without compassion becomes tyranny, and compassion without strength becomes self-betrayal, and mature masculinity learns how to hold both at once. 

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Transcript

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From space-time to human understanding, religion and science, behavior and mindsets, and the binary phenomena of the universe. In this podcast, we will consciously dive inward and connect the dots to our human evolution so that we may understand the why of our existence, discussions about money, success, PTSD, social emotional learning, quantum theories, energy vibrations, and all else that makes us who and what we are to find the best version of ourselves. Alright, welcome to episode seven. I am excited to be here. And today I want to have a quick discussion about what it is that it takes to completely, utterly transform your life. But actually, you know what? I'm gonna, you know what? I actually I I'm gonna change my mind right now, and I wanna talk about I want to talk about the effects of transformation. And I want to talk about the effects of transformation for men, uh, specifically for men, obviously, because I'm a man myself and I had to go through this transformation. So I want to be completely vulnerable uh in this episode because I think the vulnerability is extremely important in this conversation for men, because uh as men uh it's extremely difficult for us to uh allow ourselves to be vulnerable because that's just the way that we were raised. You know, there is a general conception, there's a general idea of what a man is. Uh and when we are growing up, we may hear uh from our parents, from our our our our fathers, if we had one, from other men, that men are supposed to be this way, men are supposed to be that way. And so we hear all of this pressure about what being a man is, and and if you were a a boy who really didn't have a father figure, you really never heard what a man is supposed to be. Uh, maybe you were raised by uh a single mother and you never really received those lessons. So, you know, it it in life as we grow up, we can we can grow up with the advice and without the advice, and and both can be extremes. And if we are overwhelmed by what a man is and and we get the wrong advice, then we're going to behave not as real men. And if we don't get the advice and we're raised by a woman, uh by a single mom, then we're never going to receive that that advice from another man. And the advice that we are going to receive is going to be the advice of a feminine figure, and that is how we're going to respond to life from a feminine standpoint. So, what I want to do here is open up. I want to open this door for all men out there. If you're going to, if you're listening to this episode, I want you to put down the sword, I want you to put down your rifle, I want you to put down your ego and just disarm yourself completely and give yourself some grace. Give yourself just a little bit of space to breathe and to listen from your heart. Because for all men, this is always a little difficult because we are more mind, we are more ego, um, and and and that's just part of who we are. And this this is why we're having this conversation, because we need to understand what is it, you know, how do we function? You know, we need to understand ourselves and and what that understanding even stands for. So I I want to get I want to start by building a basic foundation, and then we're gonna build the platform, and and then we're gonna see where this takes us. So let's start with the foundation. So our foundation starts from our childhood. Our foundation starts from the influences that we see from the outer world. And those influences can either be uh influenced by religion, by politics, by mom, by dad, by uncle, grandpa, by major events, by traumatic events, by loss, by sickness, by anything that you can call an experience with something else. Okay, an experience with something else. So, whatever experiences you received in whichever form they came in, that is how your perspective about being masculine was formed. So today you are the reciprocating effect of whatever it is that happened to you in your childhood. And of course, we can talk about trauma, et cetera, et cetera. But essentially, we're just gonna generalize whatever happened to you, however, it was that you were raised by, you were raised by a pastor, you went to church every single day, or you didn't go to church at all. Uh, your parents got divorced, or you were raised by two fathers or two mothers, whatever, whatever it is that applies to your story, your experiences are what makes you today. And that's your foundation. And you have to start asking yourself, what's my foundation? What did I often see in my childhood? What did I often experience in my childhood? And that starts from when you were born all the way into your seven to eight years old, where you're you're subconscious, where you're forming your thoughts, you're just just you're forming as a human being. And after that, when you became eight to 16 years old, you begin to apply all of these, all of this conditioning that that happened to you. Okay. And I say that happened to you because often I don't like to use what happened to you because that's not the way that I look at life. But for most of us in this planet, we think that life is happening to us. So I'll say, whatever happened to you. And so, whatever experiences that occur to you in your life, uh, that is essentially how now today you have platform your life. So the foundation of your life was all of your experiences. And and as you started building these, this, as you started experiencing all of this thing called life, uh, you started building your structure. You started believ you started to build belief systems, you started to experience trauma, you started to experience good experiences, positive experiences. And and all of all of these experiences started developing the the structures in your life, these pillars in your life that would hold you today as a human being. So, as a masculine man, or excuse me, as a man in general, you know, if if you have a penis, if you got muscles, whatever, you're a dude, all right? And if you are a dude right now, how you look at life, how you perceive life, how and by perceiving meaning how life is coming into you and you are filtering it through the lens of your perspectives. Let me repeat that again. As life is coming into your eyes, as life is happening out here and it's coming into you, your eyes, your mental mindsets, uh, how you hear, how you see, how you smell, you know, all of this, you have filters and you and these filters are codependent to the experiences that you suffered. And I say suffered not just negative and negative perspective, but you know, that you experience that you suffered in your childhood from zero to 16 years old. So whatever happened there, your filters, this structure now is how you perceive life. And so your perspective is based on that. Uh, and and as I've said before, you know, we need to shift from perception to perspective. And that's another conversation, but we might tap into that a little bit here. So you have your foundation, which is all of your experiences, and then you have your structure, you have your pillars. Then these pillars begin to form according to those experiences that you had. And now today you call yourself a man. So the question that we all got to ask ourselves now is what is a man? Define a man. What is a man supposed to do? A man is supposed to provide, a man is a protector, a man is this, a man is that. And if you are not providing, if you are not protecting, if these definitions of a man, of a masculine man are not in your language right now, um, it's perfectly fine. And the reason why it's fine is because this is the reason why this podcast exists, because I was one that had to learn this in my 30s. I was one that had to raise myself and in this, raise myself in my adult years to really go back and understand what it is to be masculine. You know, to be there for your spouse, to be there for your family, to step up to the plate and take responsibility. And it's not that I didn't take responsibility before, but I really didn't have a good idea of what a masculine man is, of a man that that stands on his platform, that has a strong foundation, and that's not going to be pushed around by his spouse that he knows and he's making the decisions for his family, he's guiding his family, and he's making these decisions and he's fighting for his family, you know, that is a masculine man where we where we're no longer fucking sitting here asking the wife, hey honey, what do you think? Look, this fucking bureaucratic idea of asking the wife for 50-50, that shit doesn't work. It doesn't work like that because at the end of the day, and if you listen to a lot of all of these other female podcasters and female bloggers and female talking on real, they're coming on on Instagram and on the reels, they're starting to come out and say that they want the man to make the decisions, they want the man to lead the family. And this whole fucking idea of asking, that shit doesn't work. That takes away your masculinity. It is your job to work, it is your job to provide, is your job to protect. That's it. It doesn't get any more complicated than that. But here's the thing this conversation is about honestly being vulnerable with yourself. And I spoke, I spoke about this at the very beginning. This is this is about you honestly asking yourself, who raised me? You know, and and and who who raised that person? Under what principles am I coexisting right now? Like you gotta start questioning yourself and questioning those who raised you. And you can't blame those people because they were also raised in their own way. And you can't go back and say it's your fault, the reason why I'm like this. Look, I don't care how fucking bad your life was, you can't go back and blame. You just can't. The only thing that you can do now is just take responsibility for the parts of yourself that you can take responsibility and start building yourself. At around 35 years old, 37 years old, I started waking up and I started changing myself. I started learning and I started moving things around. Shit just didn't seem right for me, and I ended up losing everything. I I uh meaning I lost I went through a divorce, I I changed jobs, changed industries, lost my cars, just everything. Just fucking just lost everything because I needed to really just divorce the old version of myself and unfuck myself and say, this is who the fuck I am now. This is who Eddie is now, and this is what my platform, this is what I'm standing on right now. These are my values, these are my principles. Whether you like it or not, these are my principles. Period. That's it. You wanna be with me? You're gonna be with me. I'm gonna provide and I'm gonna protect for you, uh, protect you. Now, and and and in the case that something bad shit might happen, you know what? I'm gonna recognize you for stepping up to the plate and helping me out as well. And that's perfectly fine. You gotta give value to to the woman that that assists you in in downtimes. But here's the thing at the end of the day, you still gotta take responsibility of everything. You have to try your best, and and your mindset needs to completely shift and understand that being a man, all it all it is, is providing and protecting. Providing and protecting, providing and protecting. It is the woman's responsibility to nurture. That's her responsibility. She has love, she has kindness, she has all of those beautiful qualities that our children need. Not you. Your job is to go out there, fucking make the money, bring it back here. And if somebody tries to break into your house, guess what you gotta do? You gotta take care of business. That's it. Simple as that. And if you're not doing that, I'm not saying that it's okay. If you're not doing that, it's because you once again, you gotta go back and you gotta ask yourself, who raised me? What are my values? What are my principles? Am I going 50-50 when I take a girl on a date? Like you gotta ask those, you gotta ask yourself those questions. And you gotta start the journey. You gotta go on the hero's journey and begin to question who you are so that you can really find out where what is it that you're standing on? Because if you don't know what your current values are, you're gonna struggle. You're you're you're you're going to struggle in life, and your wife is not going to respect you, your kids are not going to respect you. You can't not let your wife talk down to you, period, no matter what. And it's not that it's your wife's fault, because even women have traumas as well. Men and women have had traumatic experiences, and women need to go back and need to ask themselves the same questions and say, Hey, who raised me? Am I am I nurturing? Am I that loving individual? Am I embodying that the feminine side? Or am I living in my masculine? And for the and the same thing for men are you being feminine or are you being masculine? This is the reason why we need to ask ourselves those questions, those very intimate questions that only we can answer. Only you can answer. And when you sit down with yourself and you start to meditate, meaning set five, 10 minutes is five, 10 minutes aside every day and just really ask yourself this question. Start going through those steps, you know, start reading a little bit more about a little bit of psychology, learning about yourself, like what because if there's conflict in your life, I guarantee you, there's a learning lesson there, there's an opportunity there. So any conflict, any chaos, especially if you are in a relationship, that's an opportunity for you to investigate more about yourself, whether you're a man or you're a woman, to investigate about yourself, not the other person. If you are the person that is always blaming the other person, you're the one that's fucked up. I can tell you right now. I can tell you that right now because you are unwilling to take responsibility of your words, of your actions. Period. Once you get to this level of consciousness, you begin to realize that everything that is manifesting outside of you is a consequence of who you are inside. It's a consequence of who, what, when, where, why, and how you are. That's all it is. And it is a mirror talking back to you, saying, Eddie, fix yourself. John, Maria, Veronica, Tatiana, whatever, fix yourself. When you find conflict and chaos begins to happen, that is the indicator of the universe telling you, unfuck yourself. And I'm not being kind about this because this is the truth. All these spiritual entities that want to come out here, these people want to come out here, they want to be kind about it. No, look, the road to to through this journey is not easy, it's extremely difficult. It's hard. And this is the reason why a lot of people don't want to go on the journey because they have to face themselves. They have to look at themselves in the mirror and come to the conclusion that it was all them. It was their fault. That's it. And then the other person needs to do the same thing as well. And the moment that we stop blaming the world, the moment that we start projecting ourselves in everybody, the moment that we start vomiting on everybody and start to look at ourselves, that's when the world begins to change. And that, ladies and gentlemen, especially for you men out there, is when you're going to begin to feel these sudden changes within you. Your masculinity is going to start to kick in, and whoever it is that's coming down talking to you. And I'm talking about the relationship between you and your woman that comes and starts talking to you, and you kind of like uh, you know, you're sitting there like a puppy and you're trying to avoid problems. Look, I used to be that person. That's when you're gonna put your fucking foot down and say, hey, stop talking to me this way. You cannot talk to me like that. You want to have a conversation with me? You're welcome to have a conversation with me, but you need to change your tone. You need to be careful how you talk to me with respect and in the same way, as men, you need to learn how to talk to your woman with love and kindness because they are deserving of that. And when we embody our masculinity, and when the woman embodies her femininity, it's the perfect balance. So you can't just fucking walk around here and then just pount your chest and say, Don't talk to me that way, and then you're the abuser, you can't do that. You can't do that, ladies and gentlemen. That doesn't work that way. This is the reason why it's extremely important that both people are doing the work. If one person is doing the work, trust me, that person is gonna be frustrated, and that is a for sure divorce right there. For sure divorce right there. Because one person cannot always be doing the work, always be doing the work, and the other person is just gonna be just gaslighting and gaslighting and gaslighting. That's not how the universe works, because that person that is doing the work is now changing his or her frequency. Their frequency is going higher, higher, higher, higher, and the other person is just staying behind. At some point, the person whose frequency is going higher, higher, higher, that person is gonna make the decision and says, you know what? I'm done. And that, ladies and gentlemen, whether you're a man or you're a woman, as specifically man, as you begin to do the work, you become you, you begin to become more conscious and you begin to see things for what they are, and you begin to respect yourself and you begin to set boundaries, but you also begin to hold yourself accountable and responsible, and and you begin to understand, consciously understand what it is to be a man, to be a provider and to be a protector for your woman and your children, if you have any. All right, ladies and gentlemen, that is it for today. That is a close 20 minutes there, so I will be checking you guys later in the next episode. Like always, I am in full gratitude for every single one of my listeners. Thank you so much for following this podcast. And if you want to learn anything about me, please visit www.eddytalks.com. Thank you.